“It’s the little incidents in life that sometimes impact you in a big way, be it for the better or worse. In mine, it has been predominantly about colour shaming. With fairness often equated to beauty, humour on comparatively dark-skinned people has become too mainstream, without an understanding of its possible ramifications.

I’ve gone on my father, in terms of completion but it was never a point of botheration. My family and most peers in school were always welcoming and didn’t view me differently at all. In fact, my first big bout of shaming sadly happened outside, at a wedding. And though the audience there were seeing me for the first time in many years, their initial reaction wasn’t one of welcome. When I was introduced, the women were taken by complete surprise. One aunty was vociferous enough to state her disbelief, quoting “she is black” to my rather fair-skinned mother. It took me a couple of minutes to fully absorb what she said, but the outcome was rather unfortunate.

It triggered up a bunch of insecurities and made me feel embarrassed about my looks. So the obvious next steps I took were to ‘fix’ myself- whether it was through fairness creams, multiple home remedies or simply praying to God that I wake up fairer, the following day. What’s worse was that it further spiralled into self-doubt associated with facial hair and obesity. I still remember the day when I thoroughly disliked my body image and went to my mother requesting permission to undergo cosmetic surgeries.

Nevertheless, things changed when I went to college. I did initially feel under confident until I got the chance to speak to a classmate. Being a transgender male, hearing him explain his journey, made me realize that everyone has a story. This realization slowly changed my perspective on beauty, to the extent that I chuckled over all the silly things I did previously to rectify myself.

Now, fortunately with a renewed outlook towards life and ample support from my friends, I’m much happier. There are still times when outsiders comment insensitively, but it doesn’t get to me. Afterall change starts from within right?”

#BodyShaming #SkinShaming #Beauty #Fairness #Society #Responsibility #Family #Friends #Support #Bullyingawareness #Happiness #Stopbullying #Empower #Bodypositive #Strength #Madras #HumansofMadras