“Though I’m quite an established actor now, in real life, I’m still a regular mess most times, also because I’m an actor and in touch with my emotions every day. I laugh, I rage and I also cry out loud in despair when things overwhelm me!
I always wanted to be an actor and that’s exactly what I chose to do consciously. I pursued my MBA in HR and joined a corporate company as an HR person – worked for 4 long years. During that time, since I was always inclined towards becoming an actor/performer, I started working in theatre. After my working hours at the office, I would immediately bike to either watch plays or act in one/rehearse for one. I have experience working in Tamil, English as well as French plays. Also, since I’m a person who loves to learn multiple things and go all in, I worked in almost all the departments in theatre, backstage, lighting, prompting too! I view theatre as a democratic space while cinema has more of a corporate structure with hierarchies, which is why I didn’t prefer working in films initially.
People near you, or your family, can sometimes make you feel meaningless. My father is an inflexible person and relentless with his high expectations most times, which made me form a kind of strong determination in life, almost to the point of being a rebel and obstinate in my opinions. He viewed my thoughts with derision and sometimes disbelief, which again drove me to be away from his influence and made me want to carve a path for myself.
I always considered myself as creative material with a mind that does not bend towards conventional living. Making money is of far less importance to me than creating a lasting impact through my art every single day of my life.
In my 34th year, I got married. I was married for all of 2.5 years out of which we lived together for (altogether) a maximum of just 3 months here and there, because of the fact that my ex-husband did not want to be married to me and yet obstinately, I wanted to be married to him! Obviously, we were discussing divorce on the 2nd day of our marriage, which still seems like a fictional thing or a horror-comedy to me. Of course, it took me three years to come out of the trauma of it all, but that farce of marriage was also the one single thing that honestly made me powerful from within.
I’m a divorcee, and I own the label of a divorced person with contentment and pride, because of where I’ve reached in my life and because of my utmost conviction that I truly loved and lost.
At that time, when all the odds seemed to be stacked against me, inner faith in myself and my work in building up my self-esteem worked to heal me and transform me into a peaceful and healthy person. I took up a one-bedroom apartment and for three years spent all my leisure with myself, among music, coffee, self-affirmative videos, journaling, books, cooking and plants. I had the good fortune to get a landlady who understood my need for complete silence and privacy during that time.
Cinema as a medium has clicked for me from day one. I’m a workaholic and I don’t like staying in the same place both physically and mentally for a long time. Cinema gives me the opportunity to go to a different place mentally and literally every day of my life.
I was approached for diverse roles by different amazing directors throughout my career. I signed up for almost all the projects that came my way to ensure complete financial independence.
Everything is an experience, life itself is! The trappings of my profession have the ability to make a person dry and cut-throat, but I discovered creative ways to retain my emotional vulnerability and child-likeness.
I’m 41, a successful actor, divorced, currently also a community dog and cat feeder but above all, a strong woman trying to live a good life consciously. People who have known me for a long time remark that I have become quieter, but actually I think I have become mentally clear and calm. My life is still a roller coaster of emotions, but I am consciously vulnerable and more grounded now, so life is good!”