“No matter how fast-paced our evolution is towards modernity, there are still some aspects to Indian families that unfortunately remain unshaken. One of them is this aspect of societal judgment and ‘what others would say’. In the process, there’s more effort being put into upholding a family’s supposed honour actually working towards strengthening those bonds!
And I can vouch for this as a survivor of abuse! Born into a family where there was no love between the members, it felt like four strangers, just living within the same roof. Of course, I am grateful for being given an education but the emotional aspects of a child’s upbringing were completely ignored in my case. My father was unavailable in every sense of the word and his only response to scenarios was either silence or violence- there was no inbetween! My brother and I hardly spoke while growing up and the distance just widened with age. But the most unfortunate has to be my equation with my late mother, whose regrets got her into alcoholism and subsequently push me too to take some poor life choices
One of them was my marriage! Having learnt dance all my life, I was definitely inclined to pursue the art form for a career. Nevertheless, the same mother who enrolled me into these classes, was completely against the idea, calling it a trap to become a prostitute and that it will never get me married into a good household! Shocked and scarred by her response I told her to only find me an understanding man who will positively cheer all my ambitions.
But here’s where I fell into an even deeper trap. The guy chosen was anything but loving. And I knew it, within 5 years of my marriage that I was again living in a house where there wasn’t any love. I was given money every month to feed myself whilst raising my daughter and that was all! Things collapsed further when I realized that he was subsequently having an affair and that my clan was more relieved of the fact that ‘he’ hadn’t divorced me yet.
Needless to say, I was at my lowest, trying desperately to make ends meet for my daughter. I was tired of the mentality of my kin and knew that I wanted to bring my child up in a much more honest and positive environment. So starting there, it’s been a tough but steady uprise in my attempt to let go of the past and establish myself as a financially independent single mom! And what helped me massively in the process was ‘yoga’- it taught me, healed me, and put me in a much better headspace. I now have so many women coming up and telling me what an inspiration I’ve been for them to take their leaps of faith. I guess in the end, it’s all about staying true to oneself, and moving forward in hopes of a better future.”