“The decisions we make affect us in many ways. I chose Biology/Maths stream in my 11th and 12th grade and passed out with very good grades. Studying something related to biology after schooling seemed like the obvious thing to do, hence I decided to pursue biotechnology. Sadly I was unaware that I could let myself choose something like fine arts.
Of course, my parents were very liberal and let me choose the course I wanted to study. Looking back today, I think I had inculcated this false notion, that arts are just for those who want to pass time, get some degree and finish off with studies. I had heard many elders, distant relations casually mention such things and I developed this idea that probably people respect you and think you’re intellectual only if you do such intense courses like engineering or medicine, law, MBA, etc.
So I was entirely convinced that by picking B.Tech as my degree, I was doing the right thing. By the end of the second year, I was already struggling quite a bit with my practical sessions and classes. I started to wonder as to what was happening since I was always an A-grade student in school! The reason as to why I was struggling now seemed beyond me!
And then it dawned upon me that I was lacking self-confidence. I guess somewhere inside, I knew that I had made the wrong decision and was guilty of it. That guilt had in turn made me lose almost every single ounce of confidence and me not acknowledging that, caused me to keep falling further. Not springing to action when a thought arises, had made me very hesitant over time and doing even mundane things such as just communicating with people seemed like a daunting task now.
I decided then and there that I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I wanted to go back to being my confident self and I decided I would start working towards that. I analysed and understood that art had always been my one true love and I had thrown it away. That’s when Varnapatra was born. I started working on painting and creating art again.
I completed my degree in a dignified manner and decided I won’t lie to myself ever again after this. Having graduated now, I started painting more extensively and worked on improving my drawing skills. My family and friends were incredibly supportive too, and that really boosted my positive outlook on the entire process. I could feel myself slowly gaining interest again in doing things and my inclination to procrastinate had almost disappeared as I kept working towards what I want.
Today I’m an oil artist in the making, and I especially enjoy painting themes on Indian culture and heritage and paintings of Indian localities as well. My motive is to be able to contribute to society through my art. Feeling more confident and self-reliant, I feel I’m not only helping myself but simultaneously helping many others grow too.”
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