“From my childhood, I always wanted to be a woman. I was extremely feminine. Growing up in a joint family, I felt detached from family even though I have three siblings. My family wanted me to become a doctor, but since transitioning would take time, I rejected the medical seat and joined Engineering instead.
I was interested in journalism, but I couldn’t decide on a college, so my family chose one for me. It wasn’t the best choice, but I made it through on merit in the mechatronics department. At 18, I started working in a call center, eagerly waiting for my independence.
My life took a dark turn during my college years when I was raped in my hostel. My femininity, something I never hid, shouldn’t have caused such harm. The incident left me shattered, and I reported it to the college. While they took action against the warden and the students, they also suggested I stop attending the college. It felt unfair, a victim being penalized. I couldn’t accept that and decided to leave on my terms.
In 2014, I decided it was time to start my physical transition surgery. I wanted to fund the entire process myself, and I was so sure to not get a penny from my family. And obviously, my parents were unsupportive of my decision, believing it was a mental disorder. They took me to doctors and thought that this was a disease and it shall be healed in due course.
The company that I was working also had issues when they found out my surgery plans. My parents gave me a year, promising to “cure” me, to become a “full man”. But after that year, my desire to transition was stronger than ever. I returned home briefly for my brother’s wedding. They wanted just one thing – for me to cut my hair. I wasn’t ready, but somehow, they convinced me. That’s when I knew I had to get away.
After the wedding, I escaped to one of the transgender communities that promised to help with my education and transition. However, I felt I was lied to and ended up turning to prostitution to survive and fund my operation. This difficult phase was crucial in shaping who I am today. With no other options, I chose prostitution to save money for my surgery. All my dreams were shattered when they kept postponing my surgery.
At 23, I returned to the corporate world, still presenting as a man. I saved enough for my surgery and finally underwent the procedure. Needing rest afterward, my company began to question my frequent absences, leading to my resignation. Books became my solace, and Perriperry Organization helped me find a new job.
I became involved in social work and various projects, but my mental health was deteriorating. I longed to reconnect with my true self. Gradually, things started falling into place. I began working in the HR department at HCL over a year ago, a role offered purely based on my talent, which is rare. This wasn’t just a job; it was validation. I’m also pursuing a distance education degree in psychology.
The mental scars are healing, and I’m rediscovering myself. Thanks to HCL and my mentors from the organization. I currently work as Vice President at Pharm Foundation.
My journey taught me an important lesson: never convince yourself that you cannot do something just because others say so. You can achieve what you believe you can offer to the world. Stop worrying about what the world can offer you and start thinking about what you can offer to the world.
Today, as I step into my 30s, I am finally happy, soul-satisfied and content. I am living the life I always dreamed of. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.”