“Ever wondered what it’s like to be at war with yourself-both mind and body wise, in addition to the struggles outside? Well, this is possibly the life of every trans person growing up.
I am a trans-man hailing from Villupuram, where my life felt like a complete mistake. Right from childhood, I knew I was different but couldn’t understand why. I’d prefer shirts to pinoforms, trimmed hair to long braids and was basically the opposite of every other girl in school. I did try to change and fit in, but it only made me more unhappy. With time, I developed a hatred towards my own body.
Eventually, without any answer to ‘why’ I felt that way, coupled with regret of being born in a female body while not being able to act like one, drove me to the extent of attempting suicide. However, even then, people only called me out and resorted to ‘fix’ me to normalcy through superstitious rituals.
From there, things took a positive turn only when I moved to Chennai. Infact, it was my college mate who introduced me to the umbrella term transgender. It got me curious and I started reading extensively about gender, sex and identity to fully comprehend all the metamorphosis I’d been through.
At the same time, I was lucky enough to have a group of open-minded friends, who completely accepted me for who I was. Their acceptance was what gave me the courage to open up to my family and educate them further, step by step. Of course, there’s still a long way to go, but I am happy with the progress I’ve made till date. From the confused teenager who was misunderstood by everyone to evolving into an adult with more clarity than ever, it’s indeed been a rollercoaster. And today, after fully knowing the truth about myself, I definitely regret my earlier attempts to die.
Even now, people sometimes give me a weird stare, wondering whether I’m a guy or a girl, but that’s ok. I believe that change will set in eventually, with people learning more about the queer community. Until then, I choose to be happy and relish the unmatchable feeling of unapologetically being myself!”
#Pride #Lgbtq #Trans #Lgbtpride #Transman #Comingout #Acceptance #Society #Support #Friends #Happiness #Queer #Family #Educate #Inspire #ftm #Madras #HumansofMadras